PMDU Errand #3 - Datum

Wanted: Intrepid test subjects for alchemical experimentation. Yes, I know it may sound intimidating, but as Head Professor of the Researcher's guild, it would be extremely unwise of me to ask such a thing of civilians unless I was 100% positive no harm should come to them.

Even so, this errand may not be for the faint of heart. Due to an error on the part of one of our record keepers, a series of 'tier 1' compounds has been mislabeled, and I'm told it's been this way for several months now. While these may be fairly benign mixtures, we cannot have this, and for that reason we are going to need to document their effects again from scratch.

I will require willing test subjects to ingest a series of potions and then report for examination. Rest assured, none of the catalysts used to create these mixtures are lethal or even dangerous. Expected results include temporary discoloration, random spontaneous fur growth, temporary type conversion, and...mild to extreme discomfort of varying degrees at a possibility of 30-40%.

Those brave enough to assist me with this task will be awarded one Star Coin and our medics in training will be on hand to restore you to your previous form after your examination. Those outside the Researchers guild, consider this a fine opportunity to dabble in the delights of science.

Leo stared at the Zigzagoon sitting in front of him. “You can’t be serious.”

“Problem?” Jim blinked. His face blank.

“You, Jim, are volunteering as a test subject for highly unknown concoctions.” The Vaporeon stood up, pointing to the paper he had just read. “Even if the Head Professor had guaranteed that they are safe, you can’t be too sure about flimsy potions. Who knows what they’ll do to you!”

Jim grinned. “That, my dear doctor, is what makes them exciting.” The ZIgzagoon practically jumped to the air. “Come on, Leo!” he ran down the stairs, thumping excitedly all the way down.

Leo harrumphed and grabbed his coat. As he made his way to the front door, he nearly collided with Arthur, who was carrying a basket full of berries and herbs.

“Oh. Afternoon, Leo.” The Grovyle inclined his head. “Going somewhere?”

“I’m just making sure that Jim is not endangering himself this time.” Leo shook his head. “I’m going to the Researcher’s Guild.”

Arthur nodded. “Alright. So what got him to look like a kid on Yuletide?”

The Vaporeon doctor simply handed him the piece of paper he read. “Here. It should clear things up.”

Blinking, the Grovyle kicked the door close behind him as Leo disappeared into the streets, his eyes drawn to the words on the paper. “Head Professor Chelle? Hmm… ah.” He chuckled. “Holfords. All the same.”

***

“Alright, just fill up this form here, here, and here.” The Ampharos in the lab coat handed Jim a form, pointing to the various blank spots on the parchment. The Light Pokémon looked up as a Vaporeon in his late forties came up behind the scrawny Zigzagoon. “You’re volunteering as a test subject too?”

“What? Oh, no.” Leo shook his paws. “I’m just going to watch my flatmate here make a fool of himself.”

“Your loss then.” The Zigzagoon replied offhandedly and pushed the parchment to the Ampharos.

The electric type nodded and went back to the room behind the counter, and then came back with a clipboard, a small sized lab coat, rubber gloves, and a pair of protective goggles. “ Wear these.” She handed Jim the equipment.  “Now, if you’ll follow me.” She said, pulling the counter top open for Jim and Leo to enter through.

They were led into a small lab, lined with various glass tubes and bottles with clear substance. One shelf had a row of tubes with various colors and labels. Old looking microscopes and other devices were placed on the table in the center of the lab.

The Ampharos took three vials of blue, brown, and clear liquid from the shelves and placed it in front of Jim. “I’m sure you know the rules. Now I want you to ingest one at a time as I record the effects.” She said, taking the clipboard. “This one first.” She handed Jim the brown vial.

Jim opened the cork and took a long sniff. “Hmm… Barnne Berry… touch of Psyllium…” he gulped the contents down, grimacing at the taste. “I would recommend mixing some Combee honey in, but,” his face turned green in the matter of seconds. “It won’t do for laxatives for their properties--Urp.” In a flash, he grabbed the nearest tray and expelled his breakfast into it. He still looked rather green after he had emptied the contents of his stomach.

“Fast acting laxative.” The Ampharos concluded as he wrote Jim’s observation down, before handing the pokemon a glass of water, which the Zigzagoon gladly took. After Jim looked better, the Ampharos then handed him the vial with the clear liquid. Like the one before, Jim sniffed the contents, blinked twice, but he didn’t elaborate. He gulped the contents down and waited.

"Mmm... tasteless and odorless, but my tongue felt rather heavy for some reason. Is this some sort of anesthetic?" He asked, coughing slightly. "Throat feels dry all the sudden..." he trailed off, clearing his throat loudly. "W-weird... Well, I guess that was just some-“ he burped all the sudden. But it was not just a burp that came out. Leo nearly fell off his chair as a stream of fire burst out from the Zigzagoon’s mouth.

“Ah. That would be our potion for Fire Types.” The Ampharos explained once Leo had recovered, handing Jim the antidote once he identified the potion. “Easily mixed up with other medicine as they have no smell or taste. We made them for common Combust Flu contracted by Fire Types. If anyone but them consume this tonic, your friend’s reaction is the perfect demonstration.”

Leo grumbled in displeasure. This Combust Flu tonic didn't sound really effective at all, especially with the side effects for other types. It paled in comparison with the advanced hypospray solution he'd brought. Still, the confidentiality clause Tristan made him agree on meant that he couldn't interfere with much of anything. Their time displacement was enough trouble to space-time continuum. So, Leo didn't voice his thoughts however and simply sat back down and watch as Jim gulped down the antidote.

It took nearly half an hour for the antidote to take effect. Jim kept breathing fire as he coughed or sneeze. Leo caved in to his desire and relished in “I told you so-s” so many times that the Zigzagoon simply ‘sneezed’ right on his face.

Leo was nursing a burnt snout afterwards.

“Alright. What’s next?” Jim asked as he dabbed his muzzle, finally feeling the aftereffects of the tonic had gone.

The Ampharos looked up from her clipboard and to the blue vial. “Ah.” She paused in whatever she was doing and inspected the vial closely. “I was told that there was a mix up from our chemical research lab and food research lab. I don’t really remember what they were trying to develop, but there was an accident and we got this tricky little switcheroo. No one was sure what’s in this vial, but it’s nothing dangerous, as Professor Chelle had assured you.” She forced a confident smile.

Jim took the vial of dark blue liquid, inspecting it with his eyes. He popped open the cork and sniffed at the contents, blinking in wonder.

"It smells sweet, almost like a gum."

“Jim, don’t drink it.” Leo warned. His fingers were itching to knock the vial off the Zigzagoon’s paws. Jim glanced at his flatmate, and then swigged it down in one gulp.

Leo threw his arms to the air in exasperation. “Great.”

“Well…” Jim made a face, puffing out his cheeks. “Strange…did you say food lab?” he asked the Ampharos, who nodded. “Well, I think this is from that department… I can somehow taste tamato soup. Hmm… creamy.” He licked his lips. “Wait, it’s changing, how can it change? It’s now …roast meatroot and baked potatoes, with... gravy. How can that be?” he frowned as he smacked his lips, looking at the electric type for answer.

A look of our understanding dawned on the Ampharos’ face. She had suddenly gone rather pale. “Oh dear. I think I remember now…”

Leo was up to his feet the next second, standing right beside Jim, checking his team partner's paw and grasped for a pulse. “What? What is it?”

“That little accident...” The Ampharos replied slowly, looking at Jim with worry. “The food lab tried to make a food flavoring solution, but they somehow got several flavors mixed up… and they tried to make a candy out of it. However, there were some problem with one of the components… which is--“

“Bulkberry pie and honey?” Jim suggested once he tasted the sweet, rich flavor rolling down his throat.

“That part, yes.” The Ampharos nodded and blinked twice. “Oh, here it comes.”

Leo turned to look at the Zigzagoon and couldn’t help but stare.

“What?” Jim asked, not liking the look on Leo’s face. “Something wrong with my face?”

Leo blinked several times, trying to make sure that he wasn’t hallucinating. “Your nose…” he said, pointing. “It’s turning blue.”

Jim instinctively touched his muzzle, his eyes crossed over, trying to look at his nose. “Huh?”  

“Your whole nose has gone purple, no blue.” The Ampharos said.

“What do you mean?” Jim frowned, not feeling anything odd.

“Jim, you’re turning violet!” Leo exclaimed in both horror and wonder. Indeed, the violet spot on the Zigzagoon’s nose had spread over his body, covering the beige and brown fur with light purple and violet color. Soon, Jim was violet from top to bottom. Even his bright blue irises had turned purple.

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?” he deadpanned as he inspected his violet colored paws and body.

The Ampharos stood up and began rummaging through the shelves. “Nah, you didn’t look that bad.” She said. “The effect will be off in three hours or so.”

“Three hours?!” the Zigzagoon exclaimed. “I can’t go out to the public like this!”

“Serves you right.”

Leo ducked the punch directed his way.

“Anyway,” the Ampharos cleared her throat. “Thankfully, we got the antidote here. Though, you’ll feel quite wozzy for a few minutes.” She took out a vial of yellow liquid and a syringe and began to work. "Just be grateful that you didn't get the worse of the side effect."

"Worse?" Both Jim and Leo asked, wondering what could be worse than being dyed blue.

"Oh, well, the first few testers of the candy swelled up like a giant berry. Not to worry though, they've returned to their normal selves." The Ampharos waved her paw dismissively. "With more flexible bodies. I guess the food department fixed that little thing away."

Jim grimaced as he thought about the possibility of him looking like a blue Snorlax and shook that thought away. Leo however, was fighting back a smile when he shot the Zigzagoon looks. Jim decided to ignore him for the time being.

The antidote worked its way after half an hour, and the blue coloring slowly faded from the Zigzagoon's body. Jim never looked so glad.

“Well, thanks for helping up.” The Ampharos said as Jim took off his lab equipment. “You can collect your reward at the front desk. Thank you again!”

“I’m never letting you doing that again, you know.” Leo said as they took their payment.

“I’m sure you would.” Jim replied offhandedly.

“I mean it, Jim.”

“Huh.”